This week, I was reminded twice on different occasions that I used to write. There’s no better way to recuperate from the apparent loss of interest than to start writing again. Anyare na, ate girl?
It’s been so long since I logged in, I needed an hour to figure out my password and username. I don’t even know if anyone is reading or am I just wasting my money on the domain? Pangarap ko talaga ang magka-website so let it be. Truth be told, I miss writing in long form. Curated my Instagram for very short essays and nice photos, leading to the disintegration of my blog. Napusuan mo na ba ang posts ko sa IG? Haha If not yet, go figure.
Ang dami ng naganap, hindi ko alam kung saan magsimula – or maybe we can start on why I write personal stories online. Most times, I worry that I write too personal stories that I maybe projecting a different persona at work or people won’t take me professionally because they somehow know me outside work because of what I write or post online. Growing up, I associate being emotional to weakness and being weak is not the kind of person I want to show off in the corporate life. Sometimes, I forget that the people I work with have personal life, that they are someone’s mother, father, child or a friend.
I started to write less in emails, short ones with precision. I adapted it in my personal life, I reply briefly on every chat and asks general questions only even to friends and family. My words transitioned to cold, flat and emotionless. Which I ask, is this part of maturity? To care less with length but focus more on substance of the context, to stick with facts only because adjectives are subjective, ultimately, to write less.
The other day, we were having dinner sharing stories of our childhood together with my church mates and then I blurted out that I was featured once in a newspaper about growing up in a sari-sari store household. Despite my messy train of thought, Philippine Daily Inquirer published my article last May 2017. It meant a lot for me because someone saw a compelling story to my literary piece. For a moment, me being a legit writer has been justified. It was a dream come true. All feelings of exuberance came back real quick as I remember that moment last year.
Then I remember, I used to write passionately. I cannot quantify the people I touched through my essays but receiving words of thanks even from total strangers still makes my heart flutter. Maybe we write not for ourselves but to pass on the kind of inspiration we got from the great writers we know, it’s paying forward. Right there, you found it, your purpose.
So yes, I am breaking boundaries by letting my guards down, at least in this blog. I will start to write again because there are stories that need to be told and it’s about time to see it as a gift, an act of strength and courage instead of weakness. For now, let me curate life narratives through the interwebz.