Here’s to Writing

This week, I was reminded twice on different occasions that I used to write. There’s no better way to recuperate from the apparent loss of interest than to start writing again. Anyare na, ate girl? 

It’s been so long since I logged in, I needed an hour to figure out my password and username. I don’t even know if anyone is reading or am I just wasting my money on the domain? Pangarap ko talaga ang magka-website so let it be. Truth be told, I miss writing in long form. Curated my Instagram for very short essays and nice photos, leading to the disintegration of my blog. Napusuan mo na ba ang posts ko sa IG? Haha If not yet, go figure.

Ang dami ng naganap, hindi ko alam kung saan magsimula – or maybe we can start on why I write personal stories online. Most times, I worry that I write too personal stories that I maybe projecting a different persona at work or people won’t take me professionally because they somehow know me outside work because of what I write or post online. Growing up, I associate being emotional to weakness and being weak is not the kind of person I want to show off in the corporate life. Sometimes, I forget that the people I work with have personal life, that they are someone’s mother, father, child or a friend.

I started to write less in emails, short ones with precision. I adapted it in my personal life, I reply briefly on every chat and asks general questions only even to friends and family. My words transitioned to cold, flat and emotionless. Which I ask, is this part of maturity? To care less with length but focus more on substance of the context, to stick with facts only because adjectives are subjective, ultimately, to write less.

The other day, we were having dinner sharing stories of our childhood together with my church mates and then I blurted out that I was featured once in a newspaper about growing up in a sari-sari store household. Despite my messy train of thought, Philippine Daily Inquirer published my article last May 2017. It meant a lot for me because someone saw a compelling story to my literary piece. For a moment, me being a legit writer has been justified. It was a dream come true. All feelings of exuberance came back real quick as I remember that moment last year.

Then I remember, I used to write passionately. I cannot quantify the people I touched through my essays but receiving words of thanks even from total strangers still makes my heart flutter. Maybe we write not for ourselves but to pass on the kind of inspiration we got from the great writers we know, it’s paying forward. Right there, you found it, your purpose.

So yes, I am breaking boundaries by letting my guards down, at least in this blog. I will start to write again because there are stories that need to be told and it’s about time to see it as a gift, an act of strength and courage instead of weakness. For now, let me curate life narratives through the interwebz.

Crossroads

Crossroads

Last night I had the chance to join a personal discussion with a priest, we asked him several rhetorical questions like the story of how he entered the priesthood, his view of the third gender, sins, and absolution.

Then someone asked him, “If you knew that you will commit a sin – but will do it anyway then ask for repentance, will you be forgiven?”

Continue reading

Cambodia for your old soul

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I always like the idea of visiting Cambodia because of #1 reason: it is super cheap. Case in point: I stayed in a decent all-female dorm for USD25 for three nights. Felt like I needed a break from all the work-related stuff and decided to spend the long ASEAN holiday outside Malaysia. I fancy tuktuk rides and Siem Reap has the best night market I’ve ever seen!

Quaint cities like Siem Reap tug at my heartstrings – to live simply without the sight of towering buildings, to sip a cup of coffee or to eat pistachio ice cream while waiting for time to pass. The calmness of having nothing to worry except for the next destination.

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“Don’t settle for nice, for pleasant, for familiar. Keep looking until you find something that really moves you, that resonates with your core. And I mean this for people, for interests, for hobbies, for your possessions, clothes, music, books, art. Everything. Curate every aspect of your life, as much as you can. It’s in the things that deeply inspire us that we find ourselves. Surround yourself with truth and you will build yourself a heaven.”

Fill the Void

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We were walking along Teresa street with my college friends when I asked a rhetorical question to everyone, how’s it going to be years from now? At the spur of the moment, we had our muddled plans of working and living together in one house. Six years later, we are still here rummaging through life – some parted ways, some getting married and most of us get by.

I used to fail at maintaining a friendship, Continue reading

A Rite of Passage

A Rite of Passage
This was my first office desk almost 6 1/2 years ago. People come and go, looks have matured, changed roles, office relocation, and overseas assignment. This week I am reminded of the adage, if something is meant for you, it shouldn’t come with any complications. It simply lands right under your nose by chance, at its own pace, under someone’s free will. In contrary, a close friend told me in the interest of a riveting conversation that if you really want something, regardless of the roadblock from your goal, you have to fight for it. These two opposing views somehow helped me move on to life’s next chapters.

I believe there’s a different kind of gratification for those who anticipate this kind of change in the corporate life. Above all else, “What is done in love is well done. – Vincent van Gogh”.

On short hair prejudices

short hair

A brawny looking man came up to me and told he’s the one cutting my hair. I was slightly taken aback as I show him a photo of the undercut I want. I have to remind myself, I am in a salon and not in a barber shop. Seated, looking at myself in the mirror, I contemplated for a couple of minutes before I finally decided, let’s do it! With my closed eyes and pounding heartbeat, I let him shaved my hair.

I was known for having the best-maintained hair in my early teenage years. Continue reading